Do you have a pool?

"Hi, I'm Gail. You must be....I am so glad to finally meet you". "Hi, do you have a pool?" And so our first meeting began with the first of ever so many questions. What's that? How does that work? why? ....oh so many why's. I've always thought you should begin as you mean to go on, and that's exactly what M9 has done. I think I will be Nanna napping quite a bit at the end of this week :)

The plan to have my middle sized nephew here yesterday when M9 arrived really worked a treat. Not only did he and I get so much gardening done before M9 arrived, but it turns out they really got on well and became instant mates. So much so that when we took my nephew home my brother, sister inlaw and I were rained on with requests from both boys for us to stay for dinner and a bonfire....and yes...with marshmallows of course. M9 promptly declared the day `the best day of his life'. He told me that he had never been to a bonfire before and after some marshmallow cooking lessons was soon burning marshmallows as well as the rest of us. It was such a priveledge to be able to give him that opportunity. Those kinds of things are what being a kid is all about.

Today we played Wii and then went over to visit a couple that I know that live nearby. M9 was so quiet when we first got there but once he warmed up there was no stopping him. M9 had a ball there as we had hamburgers for lunch, then some chocolate and most importantly..they have a Wii.

He is currently teaching Sally, who it must be noted is deaf, how to play Pokemon. It is quite amusing as I had never thought to play that with her before...wonder why? why? why?

It's a boy!!!!

Yay I have gone into Labour and my boy will be delivered just in time for lunch tommorrow :) Well it turns out labour isn't nearly as painful as all those mothers out there have told me lol. Yes I did go there with that joke lol...please don't hate me hehe. Many thanks to my self proclaimed birthing partner Tash who was there to hold my hand and remind me to breathe as I took the phone call today. And I was hoping Lara would be there too but it all happened so quickly before I even had time to call for help.

Ok so here are the vital statistics: Weight = unknown, Height = unknown, but age = known :) Hehe ok I will tell you...He is a happy, healthy, bouncy 9 year old :)

My stint at Motherhood will only last for a week but I'm thinking that may be just enough for a first taste. Wouldn't all expectant parents love the handback option too. Well in my case it's not really an option as it is just respite care for a week but I am feeling very comfortable with my get out of jail free card as it is helping to ease the nerves and worries a little.

So tonight it's house cleaning and primping for me.

I am hoping one of my nephews can come over and help him settle in a little tomorrow after helping me garden for a while. It might help him be less nervous...and will help me a little too ...nephews rock.

So now I'm off to fluff and arrange and rearrange...but not vacuum...thats not fun! :)

Latest Update

Well I finally made a decision. Actually made it a while ago but just haven't posted about it yet. I ended up having to say no. :( For safety reasons I didn't feel I could go ahead with the placement. I think as a single woman I needed to be very careful about the situation I was getting into and I could see that trouble would be brewing for myself if I was to take on those two children. The family lived just around the corner from me and had a history of violence so it really wouldn't have been a very wise choice for me at all.

I dont feel as guilty as I thought I would feel at saying no and have been assured that I would still be called again if another suitable placement came up. I just have to trust that something better would come up for those children.

So here I am at the waiting stage again. But am feeling ok about that. I still jump everytime the phone rings as I know that another adventure is going to be just around the corner :)

Latest checklist

Panic attack = complete
Imediate phone call to my parents = complete
Power point turned on for my toaster to cook my toast = oops...now complete
Dishes washed = complete
Descision made = yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.......

A call

It happened!! Today I got a call about having 2 children. I have been waiting for so long and now I am in a quandry!!! What to do....

I decided to become a carer as I can see the huge need for it. All children have the right to feel safe, have all of their basic needs met and to be cared for, loved and given every opportunity in life... and I believe this with my whole heart. Being a school teacher I see the need for it every day. My parents were carers while I was a child and I saw the difference it could make in those childrens lives. So its a difficult situation I now find myself in as to do or not to do.

You see the problem is that I am worried that I may not be a good fit for the children. I am worried that I cannot provide for their difficult needs that I am aware of and obviously can't share. Is it fair for them to take them when I know there is a good chance that I cannot do this for them on my own. Given the situation I am thinking that perhaps they need a stable couple and especially a male influence (which I can't provide). But on the other hand I am thinking how selfish to not give them a chance and to say its too hard. Culturally things could prove to be a huge problem too. Aargh if only my powers to foresee the future were working.

Other difficulties would be with taking them and picking them up from school as they really need to stay at their own school instead of being moved to mine as that stability is going to be a huge support for them at this time. Some calls need to be made to see if it will be possible I guess.

I think I didn't realise the degree of difficulty with some situations, well I did but thought it would all be ok. And if I take them for a trial period is that fair on the children to be shipped around etc. And they will be in foster care for the rest of their childhood...which is a long time. And the Department for child protection do tell you to say no if you think it's really not going to work out for you and your family.

But if it works out it could be the best thing I've ever done.

Come on magic future forseeing powers. It's time to start working....

Welcome!

Well I am presently feeling very welcome by the Fostering Association family. In the last week I have recieved so many welcome letters that I am now in a welcome bubble of bliss. I think everyone who I may possibly come into contact with has sent me a letter to make me feel part of the gang :) It makes me wonder if they are perhaps lulling me into a false sense of security hehe...the calm before the storm. So I am thinking that I will put them in a special place and when things get tricky I can pull out these letters and be in my little bliss bubble again :)

On top of my coffee table I also have recieved two pretty certificates. One to say that I have completed the 19 hours of Foster Care training and the other which says I have passed assessment and am now a fully certified general foster carer. Oh and I also got an official welcome letter with them too - how cool is that.

All of these things were only dated last week so perhaps things are moving slower than I realised. I thought I was all finished and official before recieving all of my welcome mail. Although I do feel very welcome, I am also wondering if perhaps the waiting to begin has only really just begun....

Friday's Child

For some reason Friday happens to be the day that most children are taken into foster care. Maybe it's the build up of the weekly happenings, perhaps it's because it's the day after most pay days. Whatever the reason it leads to a rather sad statistic being declared.

So yesterday, being Friday, I sat at home wondering whether to make plans or amuse myself around the house while trying to convince myself that I wasn't really waiting for the phone to ring. So after choosing the latter choice and picking at various ideas of distraction, I suddenly realised how selfish I was being. Here I was waiting and hoping for a child to be placed with me so I can be of use and wondering why there was no ring to my phone, when the thought dawned on me that I really ought to be grateful and thankful that there was no call. No call means that no child's life is suddenly ripped out of its familiarity, no homes are torn apart or families destroyed. Hopefully and of most importance it means that no child is unsafe at this particular point in time. I so hope that is true. So I said a quiet prayer for Friday's children and felt some peace that this Friday held some hope in it....and then I went out.....