Latest Update

Well I finally made a decision. Actually made it a while ago but just haven't posted about it yet. I ended up having to say no. :( For safety reasons I didn't feel I could go ahead with the placement. I think as a single woman I needed to be very careful about the situation I was getting into and I could see that trouble would be brewing for myself if I was to take on those two children. The family lived just around the corner from me and had a history of violence so it really wouldn't have been a very wise choice for me at all.

I dont feel as guilty as I thought I would feel at saying no and have been assured that I would still be called again if another suitable placement came up. I just have to trust that something better would come up for those children.

So here I am at the waiting stage again. But am feeling ok about that. I still jump everytime the phone rings as I know that another adventure is going to be just around the corner :)

Latest checklist

Panic attack = complete
Imediate phone call to my parents = complete
Power point turned on for my toaster to cook my toast = oops...now complete
Dishes washed = complete
Descision made = yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.......

A call

It happened!! Today I got a call about having 2 children. I have been waiting for so long and now I am in a quandry!!! What to do....

I decided to become a carer as I can see the huge need for it. All children have the right to feel safe, have all of their basic needs met and to be cared for, loved and given every opportunity in life... and I believe this with my whole heart. Being a school teacher I see the need for it every day. My parents were carers while I was a child and I saw the difference it could make in those childrens lives. So its a difficult situation I now find myself in as to do or not to do.

You see the problem is that I am worried that I may not be a good fit for the children. I am worried that I cannot provide for their difficult needs that I am aware of and obviously can't share. Is it fair for them to take them when I know there is a good chance that I cannot do this for them on my own. Given the situation I am thinking that perhaps they need a stable couple and especially a male influence (which I can't provide). But on the other hand I am thinking how selfish to not give them a chance and to say its too hard. Culturally things could prove to be a huge problem too. Aargh if only my powers to foresee the future were working.

Other difficulties would be with taking them and picking them up from school as they really need to stay at their own school instead of being moved to mine as that stability is going to be a huge support for them at this time. Some calls need to be made to see if it will be possible I guess.

I think I didn't realise the degree of difficulty with some situations, well I did but thought it would all be ok. And if I take them for a trial period is that fair on the children to be shipped around etc. And they will be in foster care for the rest of their childhood...which is a long time. And the Department for child protection do tell you to say no if you think it's really not going to work out for you and your family.

But if it works out it could be the best thing I've ever done.

Come on magic future forseeing powers. It's time to start working....

Welcome!

Well I am presently feeling very welcome by the Fostering Association family. In the last week I have recieved so many welcome letters that I am now in a welcome bubble of bliss. I think everyone who I may possibly come into contact with has sent me a letter to make me feel part of the gang :) It makes me wonder if they are perhaps lulling me into a false sense of security hehe...the calm before the storm. So I am thinking that I will put them in a special place and when things get tricky I can pull out these letters and be in my little bliss bubble again :)

On top of my coffee table I also have recieved two pretty certificates. One to say that I have completed the 19 hours of Foster Care training and the other which says I have passed assessment and am now a fully certified general foster carer. Oh and I also got an official welcome letter with them too - how cool is that.

All of these things were only dated last week so perhaps things are moving slower than I realised. I thought I was all finished and official before recieving all of my welcome mail. Although I do feel very welcome, I am also wondering if perhaps the waiting to begin has only really just begun....